The Forgiveness Mandate

       So, it dawned on me, right in the middle of a phone conversation with my older son, forgiveness is not a choice. People make statements like "If he comes to me and apologizes, then I am willing to forgive him" and then follow that with "I can forgive him but I can't forget what he did to me" when the Bible tells us that this is not the right attitude to have. I would submit that if you can't forget, then you can't forgive. And, by forget I mean not to bring it up or hold it against the person.
       1 Corinthians 13:1 "If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing. 3 If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it; but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing. 4 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. 6 It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 7 Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.
       Love forgives and keeps no tally of wrongs, therefore if I forgive someone and they wrong me again, then I cannot say to them "this is the same thing you did last time", because there is no record of last time.
       David Platt, in his sermon "God hates and loves sinners", tells a story about a man who purchased a Rolls Royce automobile. The car was billed as "The car that never breaks down", but while driving in France, the cars broke down. The man called Rolls Royce and told them that the car broke down. They flew a mechanic to France, he fixed the car and flew back, the man went on his way. The man waited for the repair bill that never arrived. Being a welthy man and wishing to settle account, he called Rolls Royce and requested that they send him his bill in order that he might put it behind him. They informed the man that they had no record of any repair to his car.
       Let's look at some facts. The Bible states in 1 John 1:9 "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." This shows that God's forgiveness is conditional. He tells us that if we do certain things, then he will do certain things. Too many preachers are standing in pulpits claiming that god has already forgiven the sins you have not commited yet. Therefore, there is no need to worry about it. You are forgiven before you are guilty. Not according to John. You may want to check out 2 Chronicles 6:24 while you are at it. You will find another "IF/THEN" statement.
       So, what obligation do I have to forgive someone who has done me wrong? Many people will tell you that forgiving people makes us feel better. I have not found that to be completely true. While holding on to a past hurt certainly causes us to retain the hurt, forgiving does not always reduce the pain. So, what heals the pain associated with the hurt that comes from the actions of others? I am learning the power of healing through the power of praying for that person. I am finding that if I begin to pray for the person who wronged me, and I don't mean praying that God would drop kick them, but if I begin to pray for God to use them in a mighty way, and pray that God would bless them, and pray that God would teach them , and guide them, and annoint them...in short, if I pray for them as though they were precious to me, then I begin to heal a little bit at a time.
       You have to understand, I don't have to forgive them so that I can live without hating them, I have to forgive them in order to release God's forgiveness towards me. I can not afford to withhold forgiveness for fear that God might do the same with me.