"Wish I could go back and..."

       Ever let those words fly out of your mouth? Ever realize that you made a bad choice and wish that you could just go back and have a do-over? So many times, I could have made better choices, but experience is gained from poor choices in order to reduce the amount of poor choices we make in the future. I heard that somewhere, but really doubt its validity. After all, we do learn from those choices in order to keep from repeat offenses, but there are so many different things, in life, that requires choosing that they are often unrelated and therefore the prior lessons seldom apply to the current situation, right?
       So I was lying in bed and my mind started with this thought barrage. If I could go back and change one thing in my life, what would it be? One thing led to another, and I realized that there were many things that could be listed. If I had the opportunity to go back and changes failures into successes, would I?
       I am a big fan of time travel movies, Back To The Future is one of my favorites. This past year, I re-read The Time Machine by H.G. Wells. I even spoke to my science class about the catastrophic outcome that would be the result if time travel was possible. If I, by traveling back in time, changed one single thing in history, the effect would be exponential. Here's an example: Let's look at a scene without time travel and then with. Your grandfather is walking down a city sidewalk. He spots a diner and decides that, due to the warm weather, it would be nice to pop in and enjoy a nice refreshing drink. He enters, sits at one of two unoccupied seats at the counter, orders, and enjoys his drink. A minute after he enters, another man enters the store and, seeing only one seat remains at the counter, decides to sit at a table. Half a minute later, a young lady walks in, sees an open seat at the counter and sitting down next to your future grandfather, looks at a menu. "Wow! What a looker!" Your grandfather (who is only 20 years old at the time) sees his chance and seizes the opportunity. He strikes up a conversation with the pretty young lady and the rest, as they say, is history. You know this story because you asked your grandfather "Grandpa, how did you and Grandma meet?"  Now, let's look at the alternative: I travel back in time and, as I walk down the street, I stop a young man and ask him for directions (it just happens to be your grandfather). This delays him for only a little over a minute; a fraction of time really. Afterward, he continues down the sidewalk, and enters the diner, a step behind another man. There are two open seats available at the counter but the man in front of him chooses one. To keep from crowding in, your grandfather chooses to sit at a table. Half a minute later, a young lady walks in, sees an open seat at the counter and sitting down, looks at a menu. Your great-grandfather (who is only 20 years old at the time) sees her, but also sees his choice of the table, with no crowding and plenty of room as good, and seizes the opportunity to read the newspaper, which he can spread out on the table. He strikes up a short conversation with the older waitress, and glancing back at the young lady, at the counter, thinks to himself "Wow! What a looker! If I were sitting next to her, I would definitely talk to her" and the rest, as they say, is history. You never exist.
       So if I go back and change things, then everything after that point is also changed. If I had not been in that place, at that time, then I would not have met my wife and... Sure I would have met someone and had kids, etc, but they would have been different kids. Understand?  Had I chosen to go to college after high school, instead of waiting until I was 38 years old...If, If, If. Had my wife's mother not died when Tammy was five years old, and she had not spent time in a children's home, and not been raised by her grandparents, and not been at that place and time...
       So, what is the point?  We look back on past mistakes and wish that we could have done things differently. That's normal. To wish that we had made better choices and said things differently, handled things another way, or acted in a more upstanding manner. The point is, we can't go back. If we did, we would foul things up even worse. Why worry about the past while navigating the future? Is there scripture, for this, you ask? Why of course there is. Here's one: Philippians 3:12-14 (New Living Translation)  I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me. No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.
       We should strive to make right choices; to pave a path that will take us forward, that will allow us to look back and say "Well done."

Being Saved, But Not Quite There

1 Corinthians 1:18  For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God.
Acts 2:47  all the while praising God and enjoying the goodwill of all the people. And each day the Lord added to their fellowship those who were being saved.
2 Corinthians 2:15  Our lives are a Christ-like fragrance rising up to God. But this fragrance is perceived differently by those who are being saved and by those who are perishing.
2 Corinthians 2:16  To those who are perishing, we are a dreadful smell of death and doom. But to those who are being saved, we are a life-giving perfume. And who is adequate for such a task as this?


       Now for a message that is sure to get someone's theological panties in a twist. I have been asked, as many of you no doubt have, "Are you saved?" To which I sometimes answer "Not yet." This usually brings about a stunned look or further questions about my salvation. I then tell them that I have been "born again" (as Jesus explained to Nicodemus in John 3:3), but I am being saved.
       Imagine that you were on a journey and that you came to a lake. You survey the lake and decide that to go around the lake would take much too long. You decide, instead, that straight across the lake is much quicker. You judge that the distance across the lake is not so far as to be beyond the limits of your ability to swim, therefore, you step in and take off. As you continue to swim, you realize that you may have bitten off more than you can chew. Eventually, you come to the realization that you will not be able to make it all the way across, but you have come much too far to go back. You have overestimated you abilities. As you struggle to keep your head above water, you hear a noise, and turning you see me coming along side in a motorboat. After the obligatory howdys and hellos, I ask "Do you need some assistance? When you get to shore, you have to enter the port on a vessel. The harbor master insists on this and allows no swimmers to enter."At this point, you have an important choice to make. You can either accept my help or continue on your own. To reject assistance is to choose drowning, of course, but there is always a choice and some would rather die trying than admit their mistake and accept help from another.
       So the choice is made to enter the boat. Is the swimmer saved? I would say that salvation is attained upon reaching the shoreline. Let's continue along the journey. The swimmer (you) decide that you are rested and decide that you can make it on your own. I advise that you should remain in the boat. I explain that I am the biggest, toughest sailor around and that no one would be able to force you out of the boat, with me as its captain. No one can "take you out of my hand" I explain. But you have decided that you don't really need my help. "After all," you argue, "I was doing quite well on my own. And besides, your boat has quite too many rules for me. You want to control me and place boundaries on my life. To ride in your boat, you say that I have to follow your guidelines. Rules, rules, rules!" Splash! You dive back in and, with renewed vigor, you swim toward shore. As you swim away, I shout to you "I am here when you need me. Just call me and I will pull you into the boat." "You just call out my name, and you know where ever I am, I'll come runnin"...sorry, had a musical moment there.
       ADD moment...I used to run. I learned that if I ran a long distance and then stopped to rest, my muscles would tighten up and it would be harder to start running again.
       So you are swimming again. Of course you become tired again (after all, its my story. You didn't think I was going to let you be superman and ruin my allegory, did you?) and realize that you are not going to make it. Again with the choices...like Déjà vu, all over again. Choose life (in the boat) or death. Getting the picture? The Apostle Paul stated that we are in a race that must be finished. He spoke of completing not of being complete. He said that we are being saved. We do not loose our free will when we accept Christ. Some people have asked me "Why would anyone choose to stop following Christ?" as an argument that we can't. Who would choose to have their marriage dissolve when they have found the person that they love and choose to spend the rest of their life with? But it happens. People often neglect their relationship and grow apart, eventually being so far apart that they are no longer in a relationship. We do this same thing with Christ. At first, we are excited and tell everyone about this wonderful new relationship. Then we neglect the relationship and allow others to vie for our attention. We spend so much time with these other relationships that they become more important to us. He (Christ) stands there and pleads for you to return, but you have lost interest. Maybe, later on, you will come to realize what you have lost and desire to renew the relationship, but in reality, if you no longer hear him calling out to you, you will never (can never) respond.
       Once the boat has reached the harbor, without you, you are left in the open ocean with no way to approach the harbor. You eventually parish.

The Big Picture: A Matter of Perspective

       This is going to take more than one post. I can already tell, by all that is going through my mind and spirit.
       First, let me say that if you are looking for a chance to nit pic and find errors, you came to the right place. Sorta. What I mean is this: If you read this, or anything, trying to find things that you disagree with, then you will be successful in finding things that you disagree with. I am perfectly willing for you to point those things out, by the way. I just would like you to be able to read this with the same mind that I wrote it.
       I have heard the questions "Why do bad things happen to good people?" and "Why does God allow bad things to happen to Christians?" We suffer from limited visibility (1 Corinthians 13:12 [New Living Translation] Now we see things imperfectly as in a cloudy mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.)
       I have two sons. They are now grown, but when they were very young I tried to instill discipline in them. I required them to do certain chores around the house. One of those was cleaning their bedroom. Let's say that I gave my son the following instruction: "Son, go clean your bedroom. When you finish, I will take you to get an ice cream. If you don't do it, you will be punished." (Of course this is oversimplified, but you get the point). My son has a choice. He can choose to clean his room or he can choose not to. I cannot 'make' him clean his room. I can only motivate him to do so. Let's say that he chooses to clean his room. I then have a choice to make. I can honor my word or go back on it (that would make me a liar), but of course I take him for an ice cream. I'm not a jerk, ya know. What if he had chosen not to clean his room? I still have a choice to make: to punish or not to punish. If I don't punish him, wouldn't that also make me a liar? Therefore, I follow through and he learns that his ol' dad is a man of his word. He also learns other valuable lessons, like following the rules, etc. So... his punishment...was it a bad thing or a good thing? You probably agree that it is a matter of perspective, right. From his childlike point-of-view, his punishment is a bad thing. After all, they don't call good things "punishment", do they? However, from the dad's perspective, his punishment taught him valuable lessons that will serve him well in the future. Are you with me so far? So here's a short list of some "bad" things: homework, getting a shot at the Dr's office, having to go to school, eating vegetables, following your parent's rules, taking a bath, etc. Now for a short list of "good" things: homework (helps us practice skills and prepare for lessons), getting a shot at the Dr's office (helps in healing and/or prevention), having to go to school (to get an education or participate in sports, music, etc), eating vegetables (makes us healthier), following your parent's rules (teaches discipline, prepares us for adulthood, etc), taking a bath (duh! who wants to be stinky and gross?), etc. Another, short, example: Years ago, I went to Army Basic Training. Our drill sergeants made us do push-ups for any minor infraction. "This Private is looking at me." Everybody drop and give me 20 push-ups!" "You didn't move fast enough. Drop and give me 20!" "You are moving too fast. Drop and give me 20!" At the time I thought that these Drill Sergeants were mean to us. I began to realize that whether we did anything wrong or not, we were going to be made to do push-ups. This seemed like a bad thing to the recruits who were being screamed at. As an adult, I can see that the Sergeants were doing it for our own good. How would I feel if I were dropped into combat and was out of shape and couldn't keep up? They wanted us to reach our peak performance. That is a good thing. It was and is a matter of perspective.
       Real life...early 1985. I was in the Army, stationed at a training post, as an instructor. Because it is hard to gain rank (get a promotion) at a training post, and because I wanted to get out and see the world, I requested and received a transfer to Italy, effective in the fall of that year. I had once been engaged (to Tammy), but no longer was and had not seen her in over a year. I accepted Christ in June of ‘85. On July 5th, I had a motorcycle accident that put me in ICU and traction. I was in the hospital for over a month (for the first stay), home for a month of convalescent leave, then back to the hospital for another month. I experienced two surgeries the first month, one during the second stay, and two more to follow. While I was in the hospital, the first time, I was questioning why God would allow this terrible thing to happen to me. After all, I had just become a Christian. I was now one of the good guys, right? My sister sent me a letter. In it, she stated that we may not understand why things happen the way that they do, but that God has a reason for allowing them. What I did not know, at the time, was that Tammy had been thinking about me (or should I say us?) and had decided to pray for guidance. She later told me that she prayed “God, if we are meant to be together, then he will be single and still be stationed where he was, when we last talked.” You could say that she followed Gideon’s example and laid a fleece before the Lord. When she contacted me, Thanksgiving weekend at my parents’ home, she found that, due to my accident, my orders to ship out had been rescinded, and I had broken up with the non-believer I had been dating, shortly after accepting Christ (that relationship was anything but pleasing to God). Well, here we are (Tammy and I), 25 years later, married. I never went to Europe, but it’s been a great ride all these years. Was having that accident a bad thing? I guess it depends on your perspective. Had it not occurred, I would have been in Italy and Tammy would have taken that as her answer from God. I would not have the two sons I now have. How many other things would be different?
       Why do Christians get cancer? Why do they die? Many of the things that that we experience are due to the choices that we make. There are very few “real” accidents in life. Most are self-inflicted results of choice. But, if what we are experiencing is not of our own making, then I desire to have the fortitude to accept that my heavenly father has a plan for me and the confidence to trust his guiding hand upon my life. After all, I did say “I’m yours, Lord.” What right do I have to tell him what to do with his stuff? God sees the big picture while I have limited visibility and can only see what touches me directly, in the here and now. My arguing with God would be tantamount to a 3-year-old arguing about bath time. When it’s my time to cross Jordon, I hope that I can say “I am ready Lord. Your will be done.”