What should I look for in a church?

       I have often blogged on the subject of disappointment in what I find to be nominal churches. What I would like to know is "What should I look for in a church?"
       So often people don't seem to comprehend why I have such heartburn and dissatisfaction with what I find in churches. When we discuss the subject, they look at me with this far away, glazed-over look that says "I don't get it. Aren't we supposed to just go to church, have church, and leave church?" So what am I looking for? What should I be looking for? Am I striving to find the "perfect, but non-existant" church? Are there other searchers looking for the same thing? Have most people become so entreched in the status quo of church life that they don't even think to look for more?
       I recently re-read The Time Machine - by H.G. Wells. For those who have not read it, the time traveler travels very far (about 100,000 years) into the future and finds two groups of people; the Eloi and the Morlocks. The Eloi are are simple people. They live in a world that is very much a paradise. Their every need is taken care of. They have lost the ability to think complicated thoughts or do much for themselves. They have evolved into "cattle". (metaphorically and litterally speaking). Their one negative in life is that ever-so-often one of them is snatched by the Morlock, who drags them down into the Morlock caves and eats them.
       I have a friend who thinks his church is wonderful (I am glad for him), but if you read my post http://whatsupwithchristianity.blogspot.com/2011/06/check-out-email-i-received.html , it is his church that I refered to.
       So I am putting this question out there, and I want your input, please. What should a church be? How do I know when I have found the right one. What should I expect from it's pastor, it's congregation, etc?
       We will be visiting a local church, for the second time, this Sunday Morning. Read http://whatsupwithchristianity.blogspot.com/2011/05/what-were-they-thinking.html to find out about our first visit to this church.

Check out the email I received...

       So...we visited this one church some years ago, in our county, 2 or 3 times. It had been some years since we were there. I am sure that we filled out a visitor card because they had my email address. They had not emailed me in at least 2-3 years, at all. No interest in trying to reach out to us, to encourage us...nothing, right? So, in May of this year, I get an email from them. What follows is their email (copied and pasted, with their name omitted and replaced with question marks. Notes in italics were added by me):

From: matt@??????????????.com [matt@??????????????.com]


Sent: Wednesday, May 25, 2011 10:49 AM

To: Michael Kennedy (that's me)

Subject: Now you can give generously online!!!!

Dear Michael,

Important Information:

Now you can give generously online!!!!

Whether you'd like to give a single gift, schedule ongoing donations, or view your giving history, you can do it all online. It's quick, easy, and secure. Here you can give your tithe as well as your gifts. With our new, enhanced service you can give by using your checking account, debit or credit card (understand-- The team at ??????(shortened church name) would rather you NOT give with a credit card if there is a chance that it will not be paid off at the end of the month), whichever is most convenient. This safe and flexible option is one of the easiest ways to give to ??????(shortened church name).

Please browse the options, and get acquainted with the new online giving option

Thank you for your support!

If you have any questions concerning this service feel free to contact our finance team at ???-???-????

Please join us by donating online at:

https://products.connectionpower.com/powergiving/donor/?church_id=251

You may log in using the username ???????? and the password ???????.(someone took time to develop a user name and password for me)

Sincerely,

?????? ???????? ?? ???(name of church)

Making Jesus Famous!!!

       This really struck me and maybe I was wrong for doing it, but, if you know me then you know that I have a very low threshhold for what I refer to as nominal churches. The following is my response (because someone needed to stand up and say "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?"

Really? So this is the first email (or any contact) that I have received from ?? (church initials) in I can't remember how long, but instead of being concerned for my spiritual wellbeing (which you obviously are not due to lack of contact, duh) you want money? You need to pass on this concern...close your doors and quit pretending to be a real church. So typical of nominal churces. "Give us your money and we will agree to leave you alone. We don't REALLY care if you go to hell as long as we are in your will." Please delete me from your mail list and get a clue. I am so tired of churches that hurt the name of Christ by being nominal. You are doing more damage than you will ever know or could imagine with your half attempts. If you could throw out all the crap and concentrate on the meat, then your church could experience true revival and not be just another superficially nominal social club under the guise of a religious congregation. I just thought that it was about time that someone said what needed to be spoken.


       So, how many blog subscribers did I just lose? Don't you ever see something wrong and something snaps and you have to try to make it right, even if you know that your words will probably fall on deaf ears? Or are you the one that would see a man slapping a woman around in Wal-mart and just say that its not any of your business? Well I received a reply that stated: "I am sorry that you received that email. You were not supposed to..." Still no concern for me? Really? Even after I told you that you overlooked your responsibility to reach out to people and love them "as Christ loves the church"? Is that kinda like me telling a man, who is beating his wife in public, to stop hitting his wife and he responds with "I'm sorry. I didn't know you could see me doing that"? Didn't he kinda miss the point?
       Am I the only one who thinks it is OK to shine a light on wrong in order to limit its future occurances? Are we so self-centered that we let churches abuse with no checks or balances? Will anyone else stand up and say "That's enough! You have got to be kidding! We can do better than this!" Or maybe we should just be punks, who say "well what good would it do for me to say anything? Who am I to judge?"
       Final thought: If you went to a resturant and it was really bad (bad food, bad service, overpriced or and combination of bad things) would you say nothing and let me go there or would you tell everyone to avoid the place? Why do we think that churches get a pass? There are movie critics, fasion critics and food critics...why not church critics?



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Why are we taught to be satisfied?

       I recently moved to a small town. I really like it and the friendliness of the people there. This quaint little town has 7 or 8 places to grab a bite. Two of them are national chains. Although all of them have their good points, none are what I would call wonderful. Although I like a good burger, I prefer a fine steak. I am not one who eats at the same place all the time. I don't even like to go to the same place, each time, for vacation. I know folks who go to Myrtle Beach or Panama City Beach every time they go on vacation. That would drive me bonkers. "Been there...seen it!" Right? Or how about people who frequent the same restaurant time after time and oppose trying anything new.
       I wonder if these people are the same folks who sit in the same spot every Sunday and become agitated if someone sits in "their" spot. (ADD moment...want to test someones Christian attitude? Sit in their spot next Sunday and see what happens.)
       I have wondered if people are so accustomed to what they have, they become satisfied and deny themselves the pleasure of better. I see this in restaurants as well as church. I know that some people will say that I should be happy with what God has given me, and I am, but I am never satisfied. It is not greed that drives me. I don't say "God has given me a car, but I want a better one." I am happy with what he supplies for me. And My! He has blessed me! But, when it comes to church...that's a different kettle of fish. I can't find where scripture ever tells us to be satisfied with the number in our congregation, or the quality of our service. I do realize that when we read scripture, God shows us what we need at a particular time in our lives. But I never seem to see scripture saying that we should stagnate.
       As a teacher, I try to move my students forward. As a lifelong learner, I try to constantly move forward in my education. So why would I not try to move forward in my knowledge of God and his word. Why do we settle for the milk toast sermons of so many pastors instead of desiring an educational/enlightening experience?
       What do I want? What am I looking for? I want a pastor who is educated enough to challenge me. Who is secure enough not to be intimidated by fellow laborers who he sees as a threat to his power or authority. I want a worship leader who tries to give his best to God each time he steps into leadership. Who establishes a high degree of excellence. (Why not get the band and singers together for a practice each week? Is God not worth our giving him more than a thrown together Hodge-podge mess?) I desire a teacher who studies and presents more than a recitation of another person's teaching. (Don't read a lesson to me. I could have stayed home and done that. Study that thing and let God speak to you through it. Then come and share that with us as we do the same with you. Be a facilitator instead of merely reading a lesson from a booklet.) I am seeking a congregation desirous of true praise, worship, service, and spiritual growth. (It is not the worship leader's job to get you into praise and worship...come to service ready. It is not the preacher's job to revive you...get yourself revived and bring revival to the church. An evangelist does not bring revival, the church does...or at least should.) I wish to find a church that is not only friendly to newcomers, but to those who have been around a while. (If I attend your church for over a year and play in the band for over a year and you don't care what happens to me, when I leave, enough to contact me...)
       Here's another rant for you to chew on. Near my home there is a church. This church has no sign, no visible name, no visible phone number, no visible service times...nothing. How do they expect to reach people other than the merely nosey?
       Side note: I am so, so very bad...After visiting one particular church three times in two months (that's 3 out of 8 Sunday morning services) I saw the pastor in Wal-mart. I walked over and this is the conversation:
Me: Aren't you the pastor of ________church?
Pastor: Yes I am (noticable pleasure at peing recognized)
Me: Do you know who I am?
Pastor: No, I'm sorry, I don't.
Me: Well, that's a shame, because I visited your church 3 times in the last few weeks. I was never asked my name or even handed a visitor's card.
I walked away as he stood there with a stunned look on his face. You will probably say that I was wrong, or rude, or mean but maybe he will realize that people matter, next time he enters the church and wonders why it exists in the first place.